There is no formula for knowing you are in love. There is no divine intervention that tells you that the person you have feelings for is "the one". I only know that being in love should never hurt, you should never have to sacrifice who you are for the one whom you are with. You must ask the question, am I being asked to become someone completely different than who I was when I met this person? If so, why did they love me in the first place?
If I sound dour and forboding, I do not mean to be. I would only hope that you find the kind of joy that I have, before you have given up like I almost did. Falling in love with the right person has empowered me to grow into the person I have always wanted to be. Being in love has taught me the valuable lesson of trust, patience, and faith, not only in the one I love, but in myself.
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It took me the same amount of time to find this love. I find it no small miracle that it happened, after twenty years, that I found and fell in love with your mother. Our story bears constant repeating, and remembering the wonder of it all does me much good, and reminds me of what I have to be grateful for.
I can't imagine how I ever thought I was in love before I reunited with your mother. Nothing compares to it. I normally demand a rational explanation for everything, but this defies it, and the more I surrender to that, the better it becomes. It takes loving and careful work, but what we reap from it is far more than what we sow.
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