I'm not an atheist. I believe in God. A god. I would be a hypocrite if I didn't admit to it. I pray. Mainly I pray to your Great-Grandmother. This comforts me in my greatest times of fear and sorrow. I like to believe she appreciates it, not only because she told me I would, but because she knows that I truly do miss her.
With that said, I do not think she cares a lick whether I go to church or not. I think, if she had lived to meet my gay friends...our extended family, she would have been just as outraged at their exclusion from God. I still go into churches, sometimes just to wonder at the beauty, sometimes to light a candle in prayer...again to Grandma. I will never be a practicing Catholic again...not until they recognize all of my friends as Children of God, just as Christ would have. I hope you understand this, and I hope it does not keep you from practicing your religion your way.
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Religion is for people who want to avoid hell. Spirituality is for people who have been there.
Don't use god or religion as a way to punish yourself or judge other people, but as a source of inspiration for you, a guide to help you do what is right.
I agree with Mom that God loves everyone. If he created them, he must love them.
This actually inspired me to pray. If you consider the time at which it was written, you might know why. I never prayed before in my life. I have recited the our father and hail marys, and I asked for a new bike or the bully down the street to suffer some horrible fate, but that's not really prayer. I took to heart what Mom said and just talked aloud to whatever would listen (happened to be a chair) and I did not ask for anything but the courage to find the answer and be open to it. The next day, when talking with some other people, I brought it up and I got my answer. Even atheists can pray. Maybe it's really meditation, whatever you like to call it. The point is once in awhile you need to silently reflect on things and ask for help. You will not be given anything, really, but you might get pointed in the right direction, or get a solution. The rest of the work is up to you.
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