A Real Friend Says, "Wash Your Face, You'll Look Better Than Me."

I hated this when Grandma used to say it, but get spinach in your teeth one day and see how true it is.

Spit Up And It Will Fall Back In Your Face

I would be remiss if I did not add some of your great-grandmother's mantras. This is the first, and perhaps one of my favorites.

Get the F%&# Over It

Life is hard, and it is harder on some people than others. In your short life you have had to deal with pain and adversity, and I am sorry. It is every parents dream to give their child a carefree life free of sadness. I did not give that to you, but to see how you have blossomed into a young lady makes me proud. See, despite what all of us parents wish for, we really can't deliver it. There is no life without pain, no happiness without sadness, no ying without yang. It is what you do with that adversity, how you move forward, how you live...that's what shapes you.

Three things you can't live without

1. Food
2. Water
3. Friends

Now, you know I mean real food, not something out of a box. And, well, yeah...water is important, but if you want to flavor it with really good tea, that's great too. Friends? It ain't quantity...it's quality.

When in doubt, check the dictionary

Another lesson taught to me by Grandpa, when I had used a colorful italian word to describe one of his girlfriend's children. I thought the word meant sloppy, when in fact it was much, much worse. Perhaps I should have known because I learned it from Grandma. The lesson is not just for foreign curse words, it is also for those $10 words that some people like to use, but have no idea what they mean. The beauty of language, any language, is that words don't have to be long to be meaningful.

One of the greatest lines in movie history

"This place is so bad, there's a sign over the urinals saying please don't eat the big white mint. " - Sam Elliot - Roadhouse.

Always be...LEARNING

I'm revising a former boss' mantra for this one, because I cannot fail to stress the importance of educating yourself. See, that's the problem, the yourself part. The only person responsible for what you know is you. I understand that there are people that are assigned and paid to teach and train you through life, but they can do nothing if you are not willing to learn. There is nothing worse than a stagnant mind, or a person that believes they have learned it all. Show me that person and I'll show you an idiot. Trust me, I used to be that idiot.

Never gamble what you can't afford to lose

This one was taught to me by your grandfather after I got caught in 5th grade betting my milk money that a boy couldn't eat a whole ice cream sandwich in one bite. Could I afford to not drink milk that day? Sure. Was it worth my Dad coming to school and reaping my grandmother's wrath when I got home? Nope.
My point really is that gambling isn't always done in a casino, we take chances every day, sometimes without thinking about the consequences. If you always ask yourself "What's the big picture? Am I risking far more than I think?", your regrets may end up to be few.

Dishes before bed

Do the dishes before you go to bed. Ketchup turns to cement after three days in the sink.

Be an optimist

The world is too full of naysayers and negative people. Take the positive route and you will not only appeal to those around you, but you will soon be able to face any challenge with a smile.